RE-CONNECT

Its been really pressed on my heart to follow through with my plan to Re-Connect with God, with the hopes to connect deeper with Him than ever before. Today's (slash yesterdays at this point) youth service really gave me the affirmation I needed. All the youth leader's feel it; SOMETHING BIG IS COMING! and so I'm going to expect big things from God this year not only in my youth group but in my life as well.

My goal for this blog for the coming year is to keep it to help me remain accountable to God when it comes to daily worship in my bedroom, along with reading the Bible, prayer, and a little ART WORSHIP! Which has been another trend with me lately. Our God is creative and incredible so why wouldn't we worship Him through our art even if were not the best. At first I only did this when I was on a God high but now I intend to do it weekly if not nearly daily. If your reading this please pray for focus for me. Cause GOD KNOWS that I'm the type who needs it.

Since I already brought up youth tonight/yesterday I want to share an incredible moment I had with my Jesus. During pre-service prayer while waiting for my turn to pray I had my thoughts bouncing around, praying for the different prayer requests up on the board as well as tonight and myself. The main things being for a true connection with God and the fulfillment of the plans God has for us this coming year, when it was finally my turn to pray I was nearly knocked off my feet by God's presence. It took a lot for me to stay upright and just to squeeze the words from my lungs. After being spiritually starved for some time now it was the MOST INCREDIBLE FEELING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! (lol who needs drugs when you could have JESUS?)

Our God is an AWESOME GOD; and i pray that He will reign in me in 2010

Romans 5

So once upon a time, I don't know when or how long ago or where, I was pressed to read Romans 5 and 6. I don't know why or how but FINALLY last night I started reading Romans 5. In all honesty I didn't find anything special. Or particularly interesting. Or even anything that I hadn't heard before.

So I started to flip through my Bible looking for titles that sounded more full, something that I thought would feed me. And I found many; in fact even just the next page seemed so much more interesting than this one. I began to read only to feel myself being pulled back to Romans 5.

Reluctantly, I went back, and read it again. and Again. and Again.

I only get it now. and it took TWO Bibles for me to get here. In one Romans 5 is titled Faith Brings Joy, and in the other Right With God. Both of those are things that I have been sorely lacking. In the past the source of my Joy was God. Just a few months ago I could feel the Lord's joy bubbling within me, it felt natural. And it was...

Now looking back I could see why suddenly it felt less than natural. Why it took me so long to relax and worship my God when I would go to church. With our new pastor our youth group was divided. As Christians we judged, and doubted. We spoke in hushed whispers expressing all of the things that we thought were less than satisfactory. I am no better than anyone else, one minute I would defend him the next pass judgment. I felt torn and full of contempt.

I had forgotten that MY GOD was in control. That He was in control and that what I was called was to obey, and love, and keep joy as my strength. I forgot that the Holy Spirit is the one that guides me and that it was MY CHOICE to make my body its home and by taking back control I had kicked Him out. I had chosen to follow Jesus, and to put my trust in Him. Where was that trust now? I had asked God to use me to do His will; so why had I taken back control?

"But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while were still sinners." ... "And not only that, but now we are also very HAPPY in God through our Lord Jesus Christ. THROUGH HIM WE ARE NOW GOD'S FRIENDS AGAIN." (romans 5: 8, 11)