Six hundred pairs of eyes fixated on the being in the center.
The notes swam around her caressing her skin; embracing her body; soaking in her emotions, her dreams, her desires.
Each movement burst forth a result of the intimacy between the music and the dancer.
The months and years of training , working ,bruising, bleeding, scarring all amounted to the moment when the music's call would mover her.
Mover her beyond everything that came before.
As the music lifter her, the audience could only watch as the ethereal beauty danced with the unseen.
To soon the scarlet velvet dropped.
As the stillness broke each of the six hundred returned barely having grasped what they had seen.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Stories
There's a story inside of me. Its colours have been dancing behind my eyelids. A white that is teeming with life, electric and pure. A venomous purple, deep and abyss like.
Its odd isn't it? To express such things with personified colours.
Night falls on the city and the streets carry the scent of gunpoweder like the breath of a curse.
(Carlos Ruiz Zafon, The Angel's Game)
This was a line that I reread many times. It was an opening line for a story within a story. Beautiful right? The story within me stirred with it too.
Its odd isn't it? To express such things with personified colours.
Night falls on the city and the streets carry the scent of gunpoweder like the breath of a curse.
(Carlos Ruiz Zafon, The Angel's Game)
This was a line that I reread many times. It was an opening line for a story within a story. Beautiful right? The story within me stirred with it too.
Friday, January 15, 2010
RE-CONNECT
Its been really pressed on my heart to follow through with my plan to Re-Connect with God, with the hopes to connect deeper with Him than ever before. Today's (slash yesterdays at this point) youth service really gave me the affirmation I needed. All the youth leader's feel it; SOMETHING BIG IS COMING! and so I'm going to expect big things from God this year not only in my youth group but in my life as well.
My goal for this blog for the coming year is to keep it to help me remain accountable to God when it comes to daily worship in my bedroom, along with reading the Bible, prayer, and a little ART WORSHIP! Which has been another trend with me lately. Our God is creative and incredible so why wouldn't we worship Him through our art even if were not the best. At first I only did this when I was on a God high but now I intend to do it weekly if not nearly daily. If your reading this please pray for focus for me. Cause GOD KNOWS that I'm the type who needs it.
Since I already brought up youth tonight/yesterday I want to share an incredible moment I had with my Jesus. During pre-service prayer while waiting for my turn to pray I had my thoughts bouncing around, praying for the different prayer requests up on the board as well as tonight and myself. The main things being for a true connection with God and the fulfillment of the plans God has for us this coming year, when it was finally my turn to pray I was nearly knocked off my feet by God's presence. It took a lot for me to stay upright and just to squeeze the words from my lungs. After being spiritually starved for some time now it was the MOST INCREDIBLE FEELING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! (lol who needs drugs when you could have JESUS?)
Our God is an AWESOME GOD; and i pray that He will reign in me in 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Romans 5
So once upon a time, I don't know when or how long ago or where, I was pressed to read Romans 5 and 6. I don't know why or how but FINALLY last night I started reading Romans 5. In all honesty I didn't find anything special. Or particularly interesting. Or even anything that I hadn't heard before.
So I started to flip through my Bible looking for titles that sounded more full, something that I thought would feed me. And I found many; in fact even just the next page seemed so much more interesting than this one. I began to read only to feel myself being pulled back to Romans 5.
Reluctantly, I went back, and read it again. and Again. and Again.
I only get it now. and it took TWO Bibles for me to get here. In one Romans 5 is titled Faith Brings Joy, and in the other Right With God. Both of those are things that I have been sorely lacking. In the past the source of my Joy was God. Just a few months ago I could feel the Lord's joy bubbling within me, it felt natural. And it was...
Now looking back I could see why suddenly it felt less than natural. Why it took me so long to relax and worship my God when I would go to church. With our new pastor our youth group was divided. As Christians we judged, and doubted. We spoke in hushed whispers expressing all of the things that we thought were less than satisfactory. I am no better than anyone else, one minute I would defend him the next pass judgment. I felt torn and full of contempt.
I had forgotten that MY GOD was in control. That He was in control and that what I was called was to obey, and love, and keep joy as my strength. I forgot that the Holy Spirit is the one that guides me and that it was MY CHOICE to make my body its home and by taking back control I had kicked Him out. I had chosen to follow Jesus, and to put my trust in Him. Where was that trust now? I had asked God to use me to do His will; so why had I taken back control?
"But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while were still sinners." ... "And not only that, but now we are also very HAPPY in God through our Lord Jesus Christ. THROUGH HIM WE ARE NOW GOD'S FRIENDS AGAIN." (romans 5: 8, 11)
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A Missed Point.
Christianity is not a joke. In fact I'll go as far as to say that many christians have missed the entire point of christianity in the first place. To say it is a "religion" is offensive on many different levels. Christianity is the be all and end all of all relationships. It is satissfying, and fullfilling. It offers hope beyond measure and the ability to surpass the humanly possible. THAT is what christianity is. Its the relationship between the maker and His works. He made each of us different, individual. He knows everything about us, every intricate detail. For whatever inexplicable reason He sees us as masterpieces despite the fact that in comparison to Him we are smaller than dust. Somehow He still sees us, and unimaginably loves us. He LOVES us. The more I walk through life, the more I question it, and search for the same answers as everyone else, the more I realize that it really is all about Him.
The more I find Him.
God doesn't hide from us, the more one seeks the truth the more apparent He becomes. I've always wondered at the fact that other people don't come to the same conclusion as I do. Its only answer that satisfies all the questions that you could throw at it.
Its the only answer that goes beyond something one dimensional, like a concept or a scientific fact, and fulfills the intangible.
That emptiness everyone finds in there heart that can not be filled by anything else though we try. Most try to fill it with things like success, friends, family, fun, drugs, alcohol, love, peace, science, commitment, darkness...
The list is endless; as it should be.
Its because this list is endless that we can be sure that God is the only one who can fill it. God is vast and impossible to substitute with anything other than Him. Sometimes people find that they can ease the empty feel by placing things that are godly (or of God), like romantic love, or family-like love, even with satanic things (we must never forget that satan, Lucifer, was originally an angel with great power, one that God favoured and loved, Lucifer knows how God is and that He is the only one that can satisfy human emptiness, he isn't stupid and so uses that knowledge to provide doubt and counterfeit satisfaction when appropriate in order to keep us from finding the one thing that can truly save us).
As Christians, or anyone in search for the truth, we must be careful not to get caught up in the religious aspects of what Christianity has become, we mustn't miss the point of God and the lifestyle that He so painstakingly laid before us.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Unexpected Musings
I was currently saved from having a miserable day, by a lengthy visit to Indigo.
Its astounding the amount of stress relieved by simply being surrounded by books, music, and the first friendly male staff clerk who didn't hit on me after our pleasant conversation {.it was only later that I realized that he hadn't given me back my gift card which has over 20 $ left on it..}. Roaming through the stacks of fictional literature I found three books worth mentioning, and two not. The first was GARGOYLE; a book I have wanted to read for sometime but could never actually remember what the synopsis said. The second was the ALCHEMIST; one that has been highly recommended to me by many different people all claiming its "my type of book". The third was the THIRTEENTH TALE; a book that I constantly run into, read the back of, think about, and then, put down. I have picked this novel up at every bookstore, airport, drugstore, and multipurpose store I have ever been to, considered it and then reluctantly put down. Today, I bought it. This book that seems to have sung out to me on so many occasions has finally found itself in my possession.
After realizing how hungry I was I wandered over to a local coffee shop ordered a small coffee and a whole-wheat bagel with butter and cream cheese, sat down, and opened the book. It was then that I realized how valuable bookstores are. You trade something deemed precious, but in reality worthless, for a treasure beyond measure. The aesthetics of the words first individual, then forming sentences, and finally into the author's thought became so unimaginably spectacular to me that I truly had to stop and wonder at the fact that I have never once discussed the AESTHETICS of the written word with anyone, and that the topic itself, isn't of any philosophic value.
It was also in that moment that I fell in love with reading again. I'd forgotten how lovely it is to have words evoke emotions from you for things you have never cared/or thought about. I'd forgotten how well chosen words could warm your heart in a reminiscent form of God's presence. I'd forgotten how you can find yourself understanding, pondering, and questioning things that would have been impossible for you to do so without the gentle nudge of the words that you had just experienced.
As I continued my slow and steady walk to a place that will take me home, with my new found treasure, I wondered what I would do if I got mugged right then. I knew that I could not part with the books that I had, not after finally finding myself in a place of beauty that was human made { Most of the time the only places I find truly beautiful are those that are made by God's hand or presence, the place that I had just found such emotion in was under the pen of a human and so I was not yet ready to let go because I knew that it could only last a short while and would eventually turn my satisfaction in dissatisfaction...} but the only thing I had to offer otherwise were my electronics and my leather jacket which seemed hardly anything in comparison... and if I did ask them to let me keep my books, wouldn't they simply become all the more curious and demand that I give them up? Then I shot up and out of my mind and snapped back into self-awareness; No one was going to mug me in broad daylight, and in public, and if they did no one would want anything other than my electronics. Laughing at my self I dove back into the words that had captured my heart once more, and settled back into my minds eye and watched as Margaret Lea continued on with her life, and as mine came to a steady halt.
Its astounding the amount of stress relieved by simply being surrounded by books, music, and the first friendly male staff clerk who didn't hit on me after our pleasant conversation {.it was only later that I realized that he hadn't given me back my gift card which has over 20 $ left on it..}. Roaming through the stacks of fictional literature I found three books worth mentioning, and two not. The first was GARGOYLE; a book I have wanted to read for sometime but could never actually remember what the synopsis said. The second was the ALCHEMIST; one that has been highly recommended to me by many different people all claiming its "my type of book". The third was the THIRTEENTH TALE; a book that I constantly run into, read the back of, think about, and then, put down. I have picked this novel up at every bookstore, airport, drugstore, and multipurpose store I have ever been to, considered it and then reluctantly put down. Today, I bought it. This book that seems to have sung out to me on so many occasions has finally found itself in my possession.
After realizing how hungry I was I wandered over to a local coffee shop ordered a small coffee and a whole-wheat bagel with butter and cream cheese, sat down, and opened the book. It was then that I realized how valuable bookstores are. You trade something deemed precious, but in reality worthless, for a treasure beyond measure. The aesthetics of the words first individual, then forming sentences, and finally into the author's thought became so unimaginably spectacular to me that I truly had to stop and wonder at the fact that I have never once discussed the AESTHETICS of the written word with anyone, and that the topic itself, isn't of any philosophic value.
It was also in that moment that I fell in love with reading again. I'd forgotten how lovely it is to have words evoke emotions from you for things you have never cared/or thought about. I'd forgotten how well chosen words could warm your heart in a reminiscent form of God's presence. I'd forgotten how you can find yourself understanding, pondering, and questioning things that would have been impossible for you to do so without the gentle nudge of the words that you had just experienced.
As I continued my slow and steady walk to a place that will take me home, with my new found treasure, I wondered what I would do if I got mugged right then. I knew that I could not part with the books that I had, not after finally finding myself in a place of beauty that was human made { Most of the time the only places I find truly beautiful are those that are made by God's hand or presence, the place that I had just found such emotion in was under the pen of a human and so I was not yet ready to let go because I knew that it could only last a short while and would eventually turn my satisfaction in dissatisfaction...} but the only thing I had to offer otherwise were my electronics and my leather jacket which seemed hardly anything in comparison... and if I did ask them to let me keep my books, wouldn't they simply become all the more curious and demand that I give them up? Then I shot up and out of my mind and snapped back into self-awareness; No one was going to mug me in broad daylight, and in public, and if they did no one would want anything other than my electronics. Laughing at my self I dove back into the words that had captured my heart once more, and settled back into my minds eye and watched as Margaret Lea continued on with her life, and as mine came to a steady halt.
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